i honestly dont know what to do any more. my life is spining out of control. it seems like whenever something good happens to me i manage to fuck it up…… why do i coninue to live like this… why must i feel……. why am i here…… where do i belong…….is it really worth it/

Journal of my thoughts part 1

I have been debating about writing this journal and finally I was just like why not. Anyways mainly I have just been thinking of my past and how it got me here and if I am making the right choices and a whole bunch of stuff like that and I literally have no one to talk to other than my best friend but se is in college and is busy 24/7 which is understandable. So all in all the reason for this journal is to let my feelings out currently then I’ll move on to other things. :) I think this is where I get started haha not so good at theses.

Let’s get started at the beginning shall we, well not all the way at the beginning :D. My thoughts brought me back all the way to the end of 8th grade.

There I was walking down the stage outside with the sun beating down my head. -_- my thoughts then ” when is this over, I wanna go home and watch my new show”. And that was that the while summer I was at home doing nothing,Back then I didn’t know who I was. My parents were very protective and tried to shelter me as much as they can. And me like a good puppy obeyed, part of that also included the way I looked. We were shopping for school and my mother was choosing my cloths >.